Sunday, January 07, 2007

I have a mouse in my room,

Obviously, there are other mice in the building.

As far as I know, however, there is only one mouse in my room. Right now.

I will not kill this mouse. I will not glue this mouse, or harm this mouse. I am trying not to scare this mouse. I would like, however, to relocate this mouse.

Normally, I would just make sure that all food was in tightly sealed containers, and wait for the mouse to find somewhere else to be.

Unfortunately, this mouse is an idiot.

This mouse does not know how to be a mouse. It is not sneaky. It is not skillful. It does not make good decisions. It will run from the dark kitchen, where mountainous cookie crumbs sit, unsupervised, into my well-lit room where I talk loudly on the phone and there is no sustenance.

This mouse is the me of mice. I have sympathy for it. However, as the me of mice, this mouse is profoundly annoying. Mice are foldy. They can get through cracks and small little holes. I have watched this mouse be foldy, scurrying under closed doors.

And yet, this mouse occasionally forgets that it is foldy, and spends many minutes in the middle of the night scratching at the only part of the door to my room that it cannot scooch under.

It prefers to do this when I have something to do in the morning. The more important, the longer the mouse spends scratching.

This mouse and I, we are at an impasse.

4 comments:

Roger Williams said...

Perhaps the reason the mouse isn't being sneaky is because it knows you're not going to do anything to evict it. Therefore, it sits in your closet, sated, pumping out baby mice in a planned takeover of your bedroom. I think the mice will achieve their aims through class struggle.

Here's what you need, but evil Republican that I am, I can't see the point in spending $40 for something that doesn't work as well as a $2 glue trap.

nic said...

Ummm...you can relocate the mouse here. He'd be happy here. And by happy here I mean I'd be happy with him here. Rob would grummble and the cats might try to get him but I'd love him. I think I'd call him Zarniwoop.

Roger Williams said...

I see that Havahart does not make a trap for parrots. This is an oversight on their part.

Lilith said...

I think your mouse has managed to travel all the way to Lima-Peru and is now in my room not letting me sleep after being parading around my kitchen all day in broad day light.