Regal Banana French Toast

For the toast:
5 slices stale bread
3 eggs
2 cups milk or half and half or eggnog
Spices that you like.
2 tbl honey

For the sauce:
2 bananas
1/2 c. brown sugar
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp vanilla
1 pint blueberries

Beat eggs until they look like almost scrambled egg color. I can't make scrambled eggs, so I beat them until somebody tells me they're beaten. Stir in milk, spices, and honey. Pour mixture into a shallow pan. Maybe a pie plate. Maybe a frying pan. If you only have one frying pan, you've made a bad decision, but soldier on. It gets worse.

Dip bread pieces in egg mixture (it's technically a custard- isn't that great?), first one side, and then the other. Pile vertically on a plate. Wait a minute. Don't worry so much about leaving raw eggs around. Wait another minute. Maybe five. If you're not too nervous, maybe longer. Maybe seven.

Dip each piece again. Yeah, again. Both sides. Dammit. If your bread isn't very thick or very good, then probably it'll start to fall apart. Maybe have pancakes instead. If it doesn't fall apart, maybe you can still have french toast.

Get some butter, and put it near the stove. Put a frying pan on your stove. If the only frying pan you have is the frying pan with egg in it, wash it, then put it on the stove. High heat for a little bit, then medium/low heat. When the pan is hot enough for pancakes, take a little bit of butter and rub the pan with it. Don't use your hands. Use a fork.

Plonk, one or two at a time, each piece of french toast in the pan. Between slices of toast, rebutter the pan. That's what makes it nice. Brown each side. As each piece of french toast comes out of the pan, stick it on a cookie sheet in the oven, which you should have preheated to 350 a while ago.

Slice the bananas into rounds. Toss with brown sugar, spices, and vanilla. Leave the blueberries alone. If you only have one frying pan, wash it again, dammit. If you have another one, scam somebody into washing the eggy one anyway. Then put it away. But if you only have one, use that one. Put it on the stove on medium heat. Melt a couple tablespoons of butter in the bottom. Toss the bananas and sugar into the pan, and push them around until the sugar is goo instead of grain. Everything should smell delicious. When there are no more sugar crystals, and everything that isn't banana is goo, put the bananas into a bowl. Now mix the blueberries in.

Take the french toast out of the oven, put it on plates, and drizzle with bananas and blueberries. Top with powdered sugar. Consider expanding your empire.